Thursday, July 30, 2009

Illusions Mini Excerpt

Her foot lost traction, slipping from its foothold, jerking her right hand loose. Kate clung to the side of the mountain by the fingertips of her left hand, straining to hold on as she scrambled for purchase with her feet.

She refused to listen to the frantic thoughts that kept bubbling to the surface. She'd always known she'd die on a mission. But not here. Not on this stretch of dirt too far away for anyone to even hear the splat. Not like this.

Her right foot found an outcrop, then slid. Her fingers scraped against the rock, tensing with the exertion. Then, as if in slow motion, they slipped.

She fell.

10 comments:

sherrinda said...

Oooo, nice! Great tension...I wanted to keep reading!

Karen Amanda Hooper said...

Oh my fingers hurt. :( Great descriptions. What happens next? Where did she land? I need the book! Hurry u and get it published!

MeganRebekah said...

Great excerpt and tension. I love it!

(One small note -- Each of the paragraphs start with "her" or "she")

Danyelle said...

Nice way to up the tension. I love the simplicity and poignancy of the last paragraph. :D

Cindy said...

She fell? Ahh! Then what happened? :D You always make me want to read more!

Jamie D. said...

Yikes! And "splat" is a perfect word just there.

Do we at least get to know if she survives? Pretty please?

Joyce Wolfley said...

MeganRebekah - I didn't even notice the she/her issue. My blinders were on. Thank you!!!

Jamie D. Of course she survives...she's my MC (though you wouldn't know if from this excerpt) and if she dies I wouldn't be able to write book 2! :)

Michelle McLean said...

wonderful! And I agree with Jamie....love the word "splat" :D

Shigune Matsui said...

Hey there. Cool! I am trying to find followers of my blog. Please visit http://inkladendiary.blogspot.com/. If you like, please follow!

Lady Glamis said...

Wow, build up to that fall! But such a cliffhanger...literally! :D