I'm really hoping you can help me with the punctuation on the second sentence since I am struggling with it. Commas, dashes, individual sentences....it is a dilemma for my grammatically challenged mind. And I know this is a first draft of my first chapter - so there is a bunch to fix, but tell me if this beginning works to pull you in.
Kate ran three steps and flung herself out the broken window. Crisp air slapped against her face as she fell five stories- ten, fifteen. Neon lights flashed as she rushed to meet the ground. The line caught her weight and her descent slowed.