I hadn't planned to blog about this, but apparently I needed to get it off my chest. So, read on at your own peril.
My first day at work was today. The alarm went off at an eye-blearing 3:35 AM. I hit snooze a few times and managed to roll out of bed by 4:00. I tossed on the clothes I'd picked up and dashed on a bit of makeup in the relative dark. Luckily, I did not look like a clown when my eyes fully opened. I scrounged in the spare bathroom for some band-aids (in case I got blisters from my newly purchased work shoes) and popped in to glance at my little cutie sprawled in her crib.
I grabbed my fabulous new handbag (it sounds so much nicer than clearance-priced purse) and rushed out the door, only ten minutes later than I wanted to. I walked to my car (note to self- clean out garage) hoping not to get mugged during that 7 step walk. It's never happened, but leaving at 4:27 in the morning does not instill confidence.
A wonderfully rush-hour-free commute and a detour to avoid a house fire (a house fire at 4:45 in the morning is so freaky!!!) brought me to work on time.
Introductions, help-desk calls, and training followed by a quick call to my mom to see how the sweet pea is doing, then back to work. No lunch, because I'd have to take it at 9:00, and who eats lunch at nine? (Maybe I'll pack breakfast for lunch tomorrow)
Then a quick commute home to see my daughter who prefers climbing into grandma's lap. I don't blame her, grandma's only here for two more days and then I'll get replaced in the affection category by my nieces who love to play with her.
So now I'm trying to get in a moment's blog writing, blog reading, and oh yeah- novel writing without feeling too guilty about not seeing the little one for hours today.
I'm one day in and I'm already feeling the mother's guilt I knew I'd have, added with the writing guilt I have for taking fifteen minutes to write this and read a couple blogs. I promised myself I'd read and write after she goes to bed. But then I have to workout, shower, prep for the next 3:30 wake-up call and go to bed within an hour and a half.
I'd appreciate your advice - how do you do it? How do you manage a family, work, and writing without feeling guilty. How do you give each part your all without being torn to do more for another part?
I plan to write on the novel during lunch at work (once the train the newbie phase is over), and hopefully that will ease the guilt a bit. Hopefully.
picture by ecpica